We are natural learners. God created us with the ability to change from our experiences, even while we are still in the womb! Sometimes, however, we forget that the sin of Adam and Eve was that they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The first sin was a sin in how people learned! They chose to exclude God from their learning.

Nowadays, we spend years being educated. We are formed in incredible ways as we learn about the basic facts about the world we live in. However, we do not always use that knowledge for good. Sometimes we use our knowledge to control others, or to feel superior, or to gain an edge so that we can beat out the competition. The problem is that we have lost our ability to find God in our knowledge and to see how we can carry out God’s will through that knowledge.

There are countless ways we can take our knowledge and use it for the benefit of others. We could take our knowledge of architecture and build a house with Habitat for Humanity. We could take our knowledge of the Bible and use it to form who we are. The pathway to move from knowledge to love is prayer. We ought to take what we know and pray that God makes it clear how we can use that knowledge for good. If we could pray whenever we learn something new, just imagine how caring and compassionate we could be.

In psychological research and treatment, there are two main camps in regards to how to help people who are suffering with anxiety. One side argues for containing the anxiety, or keeping it from getting out of control. Those who take this stance will teach relaxation techniques, coping skills, and other ways to lessen anxiety. The other side holds that, because we can never completely end our anxiety, learning to tolerate our anxiety is more important. Therapists who take this position will try to heighten the anxiety, at times, to help the client learn that they need not give in to their anxiety because it will not destroy them.

The debate is significant because it really harkens back to our true nature as human beings. Are we merely physical creatures or do we have a spirit that can overcome our body? I think the answer is that we are both. Jesus came and healed bodies, but he also encouraged his followers to overcome persecution with prayer. Paul appealed his case on the grounds of his Roman citizenship because he did not need to suffer needlessly. God is our fortress, who protects us from the pain outside, but He also is the one who walks beside us, even as He allows us to go through suffering sometimes.

In therapy, you will hopefully gain the ability to shield yourself from some of the pain in your life. All the while, my hope is that you will also gain the capacity to stand strong in the face of turmoil, trials, and suffering. Together, you can gain a sense that God is both a fortress and a comforter.

Are you having a hard time with something right now? Finance? Relationship? Health?

We all go through tough stuff. It’s called Life. Sometimes we can get pretty down about our circumstances. The Psalmist certainly did! David did his share of complaining and worrying about his circumstances, but he always came back to the reality that Our Loving God is in control.

So it’s up to you. I’m not suggesting that you pretend like everything’s okay when it’s not. But I am suggesting that we are the ones who decide where to let our thoughts rest … in sorrow and grief … or in hope in the Lord’s unfailing love.

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. ~ Psalm 43:5

Supplication is the final prayer practice that I will discuss in this series. Supplication is a somewhat outdated term that simply means making a request, in this case of God. Although many people have pointed out that supplication is the prayer practice that people employ the most, I am not convinced that this is not an area where we still may need work. I see three main areas where people have problems with supplication: making demands rather than requests, asking out of selfish desire, and failing to ask for the big stuff.

Some people make demands of God subtly; while others do so more auspiciously. Some people tell God what he has to do in order for them to maintain their faith. Obviously this sort of direct challenge is contrary to true faith. Other people ask for something, being convinced that God will act in accordance. This is the more subtle and prevalent sort of demand that comes from the belief that we know the will of God. Often this sort of demand arises when people pray for someone’s healing, based on the assumption that God would undoubtedly answer the prayer. The best way to give up this sort of attitude is to pray that God’s will, not our own, be done.

Another potential problem with supplication is that we often ask for things that will benefit ourselves. Although I am sure God enjoys our requests no matter how frivolous they may be, even when it is for our favorite team to win, that sort of prayer hardly helps us build our own character. Perhaps you can challenge this pattern by praying that God would give you the strength and courage to overcome the challenges you will face (including the heartbreak of having your team lose).

The last major problem is failing to ask God for the things that really matter. Sometimes we pray that God will help us sell our house, find a job, choose the right spouse, and all of these are fine. However, when we fail to pray for help in relieving our anger towards someone or for help in overcoming an addiction then we are closing off God from a more tender part of our heart. True supplication is when we ask for the things that we truly worry may never be resolved or answered.

May you bring your requests to God, who graciously extends his blessings and gifts.

For the third installment on the prayer practices of ACTS – Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication – we turn to the practice of thanksgiving. Being thankful is similar to practicing adoration, except the focus is on seeing how beauty has affected your own life. Gratitude is the capacity to see all good things as gifts from God.

Some people find thankfulness to be natural and easy. But, for most of us, remembering to be thankful for the positive events in our lives seems like a chore where we are forced to lie about the reality of negative events. In fact, thanksgiving can be achieved in the midst of tumultuous times, even without ignoring the real pain we may be experiencing. Thanksgiving is about recognizing the whole of life and choosing to shift our attention away from our immediate troubles.

Today, look for moments where you can be thankful and where you can see the good that is occurring. Sometimes that might just look like having a chance to catch your breath between a series of difficult challenges. If you find this difficult, pray for the ability to see the gifts that we are given everyday. Your life will be more fulfilling, enjoyable, and rewarding if you develop the capacity for thanksgiving.

The second prayer practice that I would like to address is confession. The practice of confession has a long history within Christianity. In my own experience, I have noticed that most people confess their sins to God but do not speak about their sins openly before others. Although Catholics still maintain the practice of confession to priests, even this can miss the point of authenticity between human beings when it is turned into a ritual.

We are at our humblest, and therefore at our best, when we regularly confess our sins to God AND to others whom we can trust. Sometimes you may feel that you cannot tell a soul what you have done. At those times turning to a pastor or a therapist can be ideal. Most people find that confessing their sins to someone who is accepting, even when they have previously confessed that sin to God, is a tremendous relief that allows them to finally feel lovable again. Perhaps that is why we are admonished to “confess [our] sins to one another” (James 5:16).

The good news is that there have been others before you who have confessed to bigger sins than you have (most likely) ever committed. David confessed his sins of adultery and murder in Psalm 51, so that should comfort most of you about the idea that your sins are too big to confess. Take time today to review your actions and consider where your actions have felt like sin. Share with someone you can trust what you did and hopefully God will speak his grace into your life by their response.

Several years ago I learned an acronym that was meant to help people expand their prayer life. The acronym was A.C.T.S.

• Adoration of God
• Confession of Sins
• Thanksgiving
• Supplication (Making Requests)

The idea was taken from the Psalms, which found that the prayer songs often had these various elements. To start, I want to discuss the idea of adoration.

Adoration means to worship or to have a feeling of profound love and admiration. Adoration comes from an appreciation of beauty. We ought to develop our capacity to be able to see beyond the challenges and setbacks in our lives and actually see where God is present. This ability is almost inherent in children but often gets lost as we age. Just try looking around the room you are in, if you have trouble seeing beauty then this is an area where you need major work. In God’s world, all things have the capacity of being seen as beautiful.

In particular, adoration can be turned towards the character of God. Consider what God has done in your life. Consider the life of Christ and how his birth, his miracles, his message, his life, his death, his resurrection all are acts of wonder that should produce a sense of awe within us. Focus your attention on who God is and let yourself slip away.

Following up on the last post, I wanted to specifically address the idea that having an unhealthy relationship with your self is a sin. Perhaps the best place to start is by establishing that the idea of sinning against one’s self is Biblical. For that I turn to 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” Here we see that the real sin of sexual immorality is not that we are taking away the purity of someone else (if they are a willing participant) but that we are damaging our own body. Expanding on this notion, we can assume that if we can sin against our own body, then we can also sin against our own soul.

The first step is to identify what an unhealthy relationship with your self would look like. To answer that, I want to suggest that humans are most fulfilled when they have successfully achieved 3 main tasks: Work, Friend and Family Role, and Healthy Self-Concept.

Work

When a person does work that allows him or her to be creative, recognized, and to have an impact then that person will feel a sense of worth. Let me make it clear that work does not have to be employment and that a stay-at-home mom (or dad) can be performing tremendous and valuable work if they bring their whole self to the task. The unemployed can also be assured that their pursuit of employment is work that contains value in itself. But, if you avoid working through laziness, become complacent and stagnant in your work (rather than innovative), or strive for recognition above production then you are missing out on your entire potential as a human being and are thus sinning against (doing harm to) yourself.

Friend and Family Role

In your relationships, you can sin both against the other person and against yourself. Sinning against another person is obvious, if you hurt them physically or emotionally. However, you can also sin against yourself in how you relate to others. That is because we are all called to play a role in the lives of those around us. The calling is something that is deep within our hearts that causes us to be naturally inclined to meet the needs of others. When we fail to meet those needs, due to fear or self-interest, the part of our soul that is driven to help others must be silenced or else we would be tormented. So the father who abandons his wife and kids is also sinning against himself because he is missing out on being something to someone, which we inherently crave.

Healthy Self-Concept

Of all three of these tasks, this one perhaps sounds the most like “psychologeze” rather than a Biblically-based concept. However, although the Bible says little explicitly about the need to see oneself through a healthy lens, the message is frequently conveyed implicitly that we ought to think of ourselves as lovable and valuable. God is often calling the Israelites “my people” and showing them favor. Paul encourages his readers to think of themselves as “adopted” by God and states that they all have spiritual gifts for the church, including those who see themselves as weak or flawed. Although they lacked the modern language we use today, the message is that God desires for us to have the right view of ourselves. If we relate to ourselves as if we are flawed and ugly, then we are sinning against/failing ourselves.

I have written all this not to discourage you and make you feel that you are more sinful than you might have thought before but to encourage you that God will give you the ability to work, to have a valuable role to others, and to see yourself as God sees you. For those of you who may have trouble in one or more of these areas, remember that God shows abundant grace to those who are weak and broken, so take heart! May God allow you to have a better relationship with yourself today.

I think one of the best ways to capture someone’s concept of God is to ask them how they define sin. So take a minute and consider how you would define sin:

Sin is _____________________________________________.

There are a myriad of ways you can finish that sentence, most of them capturing something true about what sin is. Here are a few:

• Sin is anything that is pleasurable. This is how secular society often defines sin. The God concept represented is a God who is stern, serious, and stale. God Concept: God is a killjoy.
• Sin is breaking God’s commandments. This might be how a legalist would define sin. The concept of God is that God is capricious and has established rules and laws that have no real bearing on human life but must nevertheless be obeyed or else you will be punished. God Concept: God is a threatening tyrant.
• Sin is disobeying the will of God. Although similar to above, this definition seems to recognize that we are breaking our relationship with God, not just a rule. Although I would imagine that this definition is popular among most evangelical Christians, the underlying assumption is that there are no rationales for the rules, except that God wants to test us to make sure we know he is in charge. God Concept: God has to have it his own way or else his feelings will get hurt.
• Sin is healthy desire turned towards unhealthy aims. This definition focuses more on the relationship between desire and health. God Concept: God is a thinker while humans are feelers; God wants us to think more about the consequences of our behaviors.

The definition I prefer is one that is built upon the notion that God created humans for relationship and that all his rules were created to help us know how to have good relationships.

• Sin is a broken relationship with God, others, self, or the world. This definition reflects that sin has always covered multiple domains: glorifying God, maintaining good relationships with family and the community, creating a healthy role for yourself, and taking care of the world as God’s kingdom. God Concept: God cares about all of your relationships, including those where he is not directly involved, and wants to see you avoid being hurt by a bad relationship.

There is much more that could be said about the above definition, but I hope that it has provided you with a starting point for rethinking how you have conceptualized God.

Nightlight offers private domestic adoptions, as well as international adoptions. In addition, Nightlight pioneered the concept of embryo adoptions.

Daniel will miss the joy of counseling, but looks forward to the opportunity to help families thrive in a different way. We wish him all the very best as he moves into his new career.