Dr. Smith is passionate about helping Christian couples and single adults figure out better ways to apply biblical principles and the findings of scientific research to their everyday lives. She holds a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) degree, with a Minor in Applied Theology, from Biola University.
"I speak two languages:
'Male' & 'Female.'"
If you're struggling in your relationship right now I have a pretty good idea what it feels like to be where you are. I've been there myself. And I didn't always have the support I needed. Neither of us did.
What I've learned is that there’s nothing more delightful than dancing with a perfect partner. A man who knows how to lead (gently and confidently) dancing with a woman who loves to follow him (without losing who she is) is a joy to behold.
As a woman, I get where women are coming from. Sometimes, we can be amazingly direct in asking for what we want. At other times, we're not sure what we want, so we can also be pretty vague. Most of us have a hard time getting the men we love to understand us. It often feels like they're just trying to fix us. So, naturally, I speak "female."
As the mother of three sons, I've spent a lot of time studying the male experience. It's been a joy to watch my boys grow into men, marry, and become parents themselves. They've taught me a lot, and I'm still learning from them.
I've also studied the "Psychology Men and Traditional Masculinity" at the graduate and post-doctoral levels, and I've taught a university class on this very popular subject. What I've learned is that most women don't have a clue about men's experience, and that most men don't know how to explain it. So I've also learned to speak "male."
I also admit it: I’m hopelessly romantic.
My video collection is comprised of 99% romance.
As Good As It Gets. The Cutting Edge. Dan in Real Life. Enchanted. Everafter. Hope Floats. Joe vs. the Volcano. The Kid. The Mask of Zorro. Miss Congeniality. Overboard. Pretty Woman. Pride and Prejudice. The Runaway Bride. The Shop Around the Corner. Sabrina. Sense and Sensibility. Shall We Dance? Sleepless in Seattle. Something’s Gotta Give. What Women Want. When Harry Met Sally.
We all love the “meet cute” at the beginning of the movie. It reminds us of the hope and joy we experience at the beginning of a relationship.
Next, the boy wins the girl … or at least gets her attention. Then he screws something up … or at least she thinks he did. And the rest is about getting her back. Which takes less than 2 hours, of course.
We’re set up from the start to believe they will get together and live happily ever after. It’s the way love’s meant to be, right?
So why do our own love stories end painfully? Well, because love takes more than 2 hours to develop. And because, despite popular belief, it isn’t always the guy who screws things up.
That’s why I love my job. I get to help couples figure out what has gone wrong with their relationship. But most of all, I love helping the boy win back the girl. I told you I’m hopelessly romantic.
Ongoing training in helping couples has included PREPARE/ENRICH, Imago Therapy, PREP, and an externship in Emotionally-Focused Therapy with Couples. If you'd like to know more about my approach, visit www.OCChristianCouples.com.
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